On the illusion of separateness and the quiet violence of care

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Dear friend,

Lately, I’ve been reflecting on how uneasy I feel when a patient expects me to perform a painful technique — or, worse still, to take control of their body and do whatever it takes for them to feel better. In those moments, they lie down passively, waiting for a magic gesture, as if I were a magician rather than a companion. They give their power away. They are not surrendering to the flow of life; they are asking to be ruled. And I always feel sorry, for I have no wish to be an emperor.

It is not my business to rule, nor could I ever conquer another human being. The truth is, I simply cannot. Because life is one, other people’s pains and joys are also mine. I experience the world with perhaps fewer limits than most, and when you feel another’s pain as your own, the illusion of separateness begins to crumble.

If, like me, you came to see that pain is not something private, how could you ever harm another? By doing that you would only harm yourself. Therefore you would naturally wish to help, simply because it feels right — because you would sense, without the need for moral instruction, the subtle difference between harmony and disruption.

We all long to help one another. It is written into our nature. Human beings wish to live by each other’s happiness, not by each other’s misery. For your joy and mine are not distinct — they are threads of the same fabric. That is why we do not truly wish to hate or despise one another. There is room enough for everyone in this world, and I believe kindness and softness can carry us much further than pain and force ever will.

The way of life can be free and beautiful. In truth, the way of life is free and beautiful — but we have lost the way. The idea of separateness has poisoned our souls, walled the world with hate, and marched us into misery and bloodshed. We have come to see ourselves as distinct, apart from nature, apart from others. At best, we attempt to rebuild a fragile sense of belonging by saying we are connected to nature or that we share some invisible energy with others. But even that idea is already too late.

One does not need to imagine a link to their surroundings if they never imagined being separate from them! The same is true when I hold a patient’s head between my hands — there is no need to invent connection; it is already there.

We have built social networks, yet shut ourselves inside. The machinery that promised abundance has left us in want. Knowledge has made us cynical. Cleverness has made us hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little. Perhaps because feeling is unbearable once you realise that joy and despair arise from the same place.

So many patients are treated like machines. But what should we think of those who ask to be treated that way? More than machinery, we need humanity. More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness. Without them, life becomes violent — and all is lost.

Softness itself can be violent when it ignores another’s rhythm. Violence can be transmitted through words, or even through silence.

To those who understand me, I say: do not despair. The misery around us is only the passing shadow of greed. The hate of men will fade, and the tyrant-practitioners will vanish. The power they took from the patient will return to the patient.

Patients, do not give yourselves to brutes — to those who enslave you, who regiment your lives, who tell you what to do, what to think, what to feel; who drill you, diet you, display you as content on social media. Do not give yourselves to these unnatural therapists — machine-men with machine minds and machine hearts. You are not machines. You are not cattle. You are human. You have the love of humanity in your hearts. You do not hate — only the unloved hate; only the unloved and the unnatural.

Patients, do not fight for slavery — fight for your liberty. You have the power to create happiness, the power to make life free and beautiful, to make it a wonderful adventure. So in the name of humanity, let us use that power. Let us unite. Let us work for a new world — a decent world that gives every person a chance, that gives youth a future and old age security.

A world where love is shared as a living, body-felt experience. Love instead of suffering and control.

And, my friend, do not believe it is enough for a practitioner to use soft techniques. By the promise of such things, brutes have risen to power. They speak with gentle voices, mastered the algorithms, perform kindness like theatre — but they lie. They do not fulfil their promise, and they never will.

So let us fight to fulfil it ourselves. Let us free the world from the illusion of separateness, from greed, hate, and indifference. Let us work for a world of reason — a world where kindness and softness lead us all toward happiness.

That’s all for today. Should you like to receive my newest articles via email, you can subscribe here.

Love,
Jules